Shriek... It's Shrek the Third

In the continuing crusade against Trilogies, I found myself terribly disappointed at the latest installment of the Shrek Series... Let's put it this way, what started as the greatest fairy tale never told, has come to be the Fairy Tale that should have stopped a long time ago...

What is it with the overall obsession of dealing with pretty much adult issues in family movies? I mean, I understand that fairy tales are meant to teach kids something about the workings of real life... nevertheless, I don't think any of the kids, neither the adults wanted a lessons on PARENTHOOD.

If you plan (pun intended) to watch this movie, you might want to avoid this, but it has EARNED

SHREK THE THIRD IN 15 BULLETS OR LESS

• Frog King literally croaks
• Shrek and Fiona want to go home but need to sit someone in the throne
• They remembered cousin Artie Pendragon
• Off they go, Shrek, Puss, Donkey
• Artie is the High School Looser, Lancelot is a jock, Gwen is super hot
• Merlin had a nervous breakdown, slipped on a spell
• Puss and Donkey go all Tale of the Body Thief and complain all through the film
• Prince Charming does Dinner Theater while plotting revenge
• All the bad guys in the bar swear Charming rules and off they go
• Shrek has nightmares, after all Fiona told him she is PREGNANT
• Shrek has MORE NIGHT MARES ABOUT BEING A DAD
• Charming takes the princesses prisoners and they decide to rescue themselves
• Big battle takes place, all the baddies listen to a teenage boy and decide being goodies
• Back in the swamp, lots of little Ogres to keep their hand full.

Two things made me laugh, Medieval High School and when animals attack sponsored by Snow White. Even when enjoying these scenes, I'm depressed enough not to say anything about them.

If anyone cares, the great Ken Ken was sorely disappointed as well, she has seen enough diaper change in the last three months to see it via Dream Works as well.

PS:

Mini rant, about bad guys. The point of having a villian in any situation is to have a worthy opponent. a perfect fairy tale villian has the same drive as the protagonist, but aiming towards an opposite direction. This sequel however, made a mockery of every bad guy conceivable, giving them a tragic flaw... the inability to cope with their circumstances, You know, sometimes bad guys are JUST BAD, is not like Captain Hook decided to become a pirate because he didn't find success as a frigging florist... come onnnnnnnnn.

Today's quote about this total fiasco comes from an anonymous source at Yahoo Message Boards

"The story was incredibly weak & linear, not enough humor, none of the characters except for Shrek or Donkey or Puss or Artie are given enough screen time. It was like X-Men 3, completely flooded with dozens & dozens of cool characters yet the film only has enough time to focus on a few."- some guy that lost as much money as I did today.