15 things I learned from Dylan Dog

Once in a while a movie comes around that leaves me gasping for air. Well most of the time the source of my arrest is the sublime, in other cases is the ridiculous. Go ahead, say it...I can hear most of you chuckling in the dark, whispering I told you so.  Well surprise, Dylan Dog does not fall in either category. Fun enough to blog about, bad enough to tell you go in at your own risk; this is one of those movies that fall in neutral territory. I like it enough not to hate it, I hate it enough to make fun of it, albeit lightly.

So instead of killing the plot in 15 bullets or less, I rather jot down 15 unexpected Dog lessons. Don't worry, it is not spoilery at all and even if it sounds like it, you'll need to see it in context:

• Horror movies should be equal opportunity employers... though I am an avid rabid vampire fan, I'm starting to understand the werewolf community plea. I never thought I said this, but it needed more werewolves.
• Peter Stormare can  read the yellow pages and I'll be a happy camper... had they given him more screen time, I would have walked out of that movie a were-fan.
•  Brandon Routh is not as bad an actor as I judged him to be. My apologies Mr. Routh, you brought it, as far as it could be brought.
• Zombies are people too and if we had an insight into their brains, we'll discover that they'd rather have a hold of our best resconstructor conditioner that our warm, quivering entrails.
• I'll never walk into a  greasy burger joint- EVER AGAIN- without giving respect and attention to the over worked teenager at the registrar
• If they offer you a #9 at the said burger joint and there is only eight items of the menu, take it. You'll be kinda grateful later.
• Vampires are not really known for great marketing strategies, they like their business straight, if the phrase TRUE BLOOD proved successful in HBO, why change it?
• Werewolves are the "Vitte Corleoni" of meat packing in New Orleans
• BTW New Orleans is not only a safe haven for the undead, it's frigging running over!!!
• Zombies are world class diggers second only to naked mole rats
• Beware of people who are fond of Latin
• The best way to win the fanboy/fangirl crowd is to include some Italian dialogue. Is a nice tip of the hat though all nerds concur is better to leave subtitles off
• If it ain't broken don't fix it, you managed to sail through your movie with old school make up, why oh why bring annoying CGI and kill my suspense of disbelief
• I keep very accurate track of my monsters and for endless nights I watched MH1 (Monster Hists One) to try and find out a nice little Where are they Now on Legend's Darkness... forget it, I think I found him.
• Don't ever leave your friends out of the loop when it comes to supernatural stuff, otherwise you'll end up responsible if he or she turns out to be made up as a  dead hooker

The quote: "There's no room for heroes among Zombies, we have  along, proud history of being cowards."