LOST BOYS: WTF RANT TO THE DEATH!!!!

It is Summer... still on movie blog mode...
I am guilty, yes it's mea culpa, massima culpa and so on so forth. I had to do it, after swearing off it and avoiding the "bring it to the big screen plea" like the plague, I decided to give LOST BOYS THE TRIBE a chance.
Reasons? mainly boredom and the fact that I thought that introducing Kiefer Sutherland's baby brother Angus as the lead vampire was kinda cute. So I said to honor good times and goofy classics, I'll give it a try. It can't be that bad.
I was wroooooooooooong. Who ever penned this craptacular toilet paper of a script thought he was capturing the spirit of the original and took himself seriously.
It is not a matter of me not catching the drift, last time I checked, I was alright with surfer dudes. It would have been interesting to see the whole vampire mythos introduced, even tongue in cheek to a life loving, free spirited pseudo stoned subculture. These surfers, however, are boring as hell. Each of these characters come in with their own little story that of course never gets developed. How could you go so wrong by mixing blood lust with adrenaline junkies, manic depressives and circuit legends on it's their own right? Don't ask me but they did it, the most interesting thing these idiotic blood suckers would do in an average night is stab each other to watch their guts spill...
If you cannot follow the level of depression I sunk into after watching this wasted can of film, I'll leave you with this... Corey Feldman was the best this movie had to offer, although not enough to justify Corey Haim's cameo which was like frigging out of the blue while the credits rolled... I'm still trying to figure that one out.
The point is this sad film is enough to keep me from vampire movies for a year, and let me say in self defense that I watched ANKLE BITERS and came out of it unscathed!!!
I would leave a quote as always, but blocks of this entire movie dialogue were borrowed and refried from the original.
Well, at least I reminded my self why LOST BOYS became an instant classic: cool vamps with the perfect blend of scary , fun and thrills. Oh and there is that quasi incestuous theme song a la Fall of the House of Usher... you know Cry Little Sister... which by the way is used over and over again on this installment with no reason or effect at all.

Why so... well you know TDK

Okay, let's face it, this is the 1,000,000th review you have read about The Dark Knight. However, when it comes to my reviews, I must say that I am surprisingly cool headed going into this movie. I left the fangirl hat at home and after seeing this film, I have no need to wear it.



When critics hype up a movie I tend to stand back. I stopped reading reviews the moment the words Oscar and Ledger were combined in one sentence. I hate to deconstruct expectations. I rather build upon certainties once I've seen it all. There are several things that are certain in this movie, and help me God, I'll go over them without a glimmer of fandom in my eye.

• Christopher Nolan will not allow us to forget that he once directed a movie called MEMENTO. The Dark Knight does not conform to superhero movie style, it takes itself seriously. This is a crime drama and it has moments of suspense and edge of your seat tension. It is effective in it's reach, connecting the audience with a city that usually acts as a backdrop to the story, however in this particular installment is brought out in the open as the main component of the film.



• It holds no bars tackling a very delicate subject for the Batman aficionado... it unmasks the superhero without taking the cowl off his face. This is a brilliant character study about what makes Batman tick. While movie versions usually avoid getting their main character's hands dirty, this one throws it all at Bats. The audience is left to ponder whether it's hero will endure, will he concede or will he need to reinvent himself in order to keep going. The line between righteous vigilance and criminal insanity of blurred deeper and further than in any other film. Christian Bale reprises his role and once again it is perfection, you can see him taking the pressure in, trying to keep Bruce Wayne to cross paths with his alter ego. He struggles to balance his moral and his ethics against the opportunity of saving countless lives by walking into a downwards spiral. And of course all this insanity is brought about by ...



• The Joker. I'll get into Ledger a little later. Right now I am just amazed at what they did with the character. This is not Romero or Nicholson. This is a level of perversion that barely showed through Allan Moore's "Killing Joke". It is a Jungian nightmare. Allow the nerd to elaborate:

According to Jung, the archetype of the trickster- in this case the clown- functions at a very primitive level as a messenger, essential to contact the sacred. This from the happy train of thought that sustains that peoples of the old world could not commune with the gods without the liberating power of laughter. Beautiful, ain’t it? Now imagine our jolly, universal clown gone insane. He is still in a sense a messenger and a mirror, however the message conveyed is one of undiluted terror. This movie pushes the boundaries of PG 13 and successfully exceeds them avoiding the censors because the nature of the violence develops, not from the graphic source but from the ailment of the mind. The Joker does not come off as much of as an individual but as the personification of a chaotic, traumatizing event that takes both characters at a personal and city at a global scale unaware and unprepared for the devastation at hand.

I have to stop myself from converting this into a Anarchy 101 lesson, but that is how fundamental this character is to the story line. Even if he is not consuming screen time, he is ever present.

• Heath Ledger did an outstanding job as the Ace of Knaves, Oscar worthy, although I will not place my hopes too high with the Academy. I'm not a crazed fangirl, but I know fans when I see them and this is how I came to my conclusion: I went to see the movie late, late at night, you know it's my favorite show of them all. Yes, that's when the crazies act out; the people who will laugh riotously at the "amazing pencil disappearing trick" ; I went, and waited for their moment of silence. See, Ledger's dialogue is witty, but his monologues are terrifying. He looses himself fearlessly in a character that wants to "watch the world burn". There is one particular rant in which even the hard core joker fans were not cheering, and that is when he delivers the speech about introducing chaos in a society of rigid order. As I heard it I thought, dear God, one hour and a half of the scrawny JJ Abrams monsters tearing up the city of New York could not achieve the emotional impact of these two minutes of dialogue... yes, there is a bit between the lines about us all and what became of us all during and in the aftermath of 9/11. I'll leave it to you to caliber, but it is worth a statue in my book. Ledger's performance is a gift, and of course, it hurts a little to step out from the theater into the real world and know that we will not see him again, but that is another story.


• But is is not all about the Joker as you might think. This is far and foremost the story of Harvey Dent, the man who stands between the criminally insane mastermind and the uber-righteous vigilante. It is his fall from grace, not Batman's ability or inability to deal with the unexpected what drives it all home. Don't forget Aaron Eckhart, he did his character justice.
  

All in all, brace your self for an unexpected movie par with any decent cop drama or high stakes thriller set in a world too close to ours for comfort, even if it's the play ground of the Batman and the freaky guy with the insane clown posse. It is a world exposed to blunt trauma and given alternatives, not the ones they think they deserve, but the only available to choose... either walk away from in all putting their faith, or lack of there of in chance, join the insane parade bent on destruction, or endure in the face of it all and rise the hero.

This is the most I can say without spoilers , so I'll leave it at Best movie of the year so far.

The quote:

" Madness, as you know, is just like gravity, all we need is a little PUSH"- the Joker, trying to get Batman to catch in on the punchline.

Aw Crap! Hellboy and the Golden Army is awesome

Hmmmmmmm... how to begin this one. I am a Gullermo del Toro fan. I didn't arrive there in a hurry. Long before Pan's Labyrinth, made him Hollywood's fantasy darling, I saw a movie that both repelled and fascinated me. It had all to do with a mechanical scarab able to give eternal life and an insatiable taste for blood to who ever unlocked it's secret. Cronos simply won me over and then it was a matter of waiting for the world to notice. While some people had reservations about Mimic and Blade 2, they were all winners in my book.

Then along came Hellboy. I'm no coward I would recommend this movie in a heartbeat, but I am also aware is not every one's cup of tea. Deep down this is the type of film that make some people uncomfortable. It is not your regular superhero movie, it is not even rooted in reality at a minimal level. The world from which Hellboy comes and that in which he operates is precisely the place that most people instinctively turn away from. And I am sorry guys, if you like your fantasy in a box, this is not for you. Del Toro builds a bridge, gets you to cross it and then burns it behind you.

For those of you who like things that go bump in the night, grab your popcorn and get your freak on. Golden Army promises a lot in the trailers and it delivers. There is action galore, kittens in peril for our hero to save and gallons of Tecate beer. There is also a wonderful, original and imaginative world that gives Neil Gaiman a run for his money.

When I first heard that Hellboy 2 had something to do with fairies, it sorta made me cringe. Even as a fan girl, I had my doubts, you know, dew drop stuff, beautiful, yet soulless beings against Big Red sounded like a mess, but then I saw Luke Goss in full attire and I smiled and said: you bastard!

These fairies come from the most primeval sources, before the Irish sugarcoated them for mass consumption, we are talking Michael Moorcock material... okay geeks, come forward, you know what I am talking about, Prince Nuada is a nod, nah is a freaking neon sign honoring elves who know how to get their hands dirty.

Kick ass sword wielding fairies is not what this movie is about though. This movie is a jackpot. You see I went to see a good action/fantasy flick and came back with a movie that had heart, meaning and gave Del Toro the chance to explore his signature subject: choices, the ones that we are expected to take, the ones we are forced to make and most important the ones we might regret.

In a world of darkness, colors fade away and sometimes good guys pave the road to hell with good intentions and bad guys actually have a perfectly comprehensible end to justify their means. There are a couple of key scenes in this film that will make you think, and that is not what you expect from an intended summer blockbuster. I found it priceless. I thought it an unexpected gift that I could watch this movie with my 11 year old niece and after leaving the theater we were not only wowed by the special effects but able to carry on a conversation about how we felt about the reasons behind the actions of the characters and what would we do if dealt the same cards. Believe me people in order for a preteen to see beyond the explosions, there is need of serious storytelling and detailed character development. I guess Ken- Ken's thumbs up and serious debate about Abe Sapiens is the best tribute to the genius of Del Toro. Keep them coming.

The quote: "Let me remind you why you were once afraid of the dark"- Prince Nuada, right before introducing unsuspecting New Yorkers to the cute, yet vicious and Calcium loving Tooth Fairies

Here there be....

Dragon Millipiedes? Well, until they discover something that will ground my belief that D&D is actually based on true events... here are the top ten new species for 2008, courtesy of Yahoo News...

Top 10 New Species Named
Jeanna Bryner Senior Writer Live Science.com

Thousands of new plant and animal species were discovered in 2007, though only 10 were bizarre enough, lethal enough or just plain cool enough to garner spots on a new Top-10 list.
Each year, the International Institute for Species Exploration (IISE) at Arizona State University issues the Top 10 New Species list, which spotlights flora and fauna described during the previous year, so in this case 2007.

The new list includes lethal animals like a box jellyfish (Malo kingi) - named after Robert King, who apparently died after he was stung by this species - and the Central Ranges Taipan (Oxyuranus temporalis), now thought to be one of the most venomous snakes in the world.
And a dragon millipede, whose shocking-pink exterior would put a 1980s fashionista to shame, gets a spot on the list. Rather than setting trends, the arthropod uses its gaudy coloration to alert predators of its toxicity.

Some species made it onto the list due to their modern monikers, including the Michelin Man, a succulent plant from Western Australia that resembles the rotund tire guy. Also on the list: an ornate sleeper ray from the east coast of South Africa that was named after the Electrolux vacuum cleaner brand due to the animal's ability to suck up prey in the water.
While scientists discover thousands of species each year, with an estimated 16,969 species considered new to science in 2006, plenty of plants and animals are waiting to be found. Scientists estimate 10 million or so species exist on Earth, with 1.8 million species described since Carl Linnaeus developed the modern system for naming plants and animals in the 18th century.

"Most people do not realize just how incomplete our knowledge of Earth's species is or the steady rate at which taxonomists are exploring that diversity," said Quentin Wheeler, an entomologist and director of IISE.

The international committee was chaired by Janine Caira of the University of Connecticut, and included scientists from across the globe, including the United States, United Kingdom, South Africa, Spain and New Zealand

Stan Winston 1946-2008

This is a sad day for Hollywoodland as a true, uncompromised artist will no longer share an amazing gift with the world.

I'm a movie geek, plain and obvious, and this man has been behind the most fun I've ever had a movie theater. Most people remeber him for this:

I am particularly grateful for this one though:

Hmmm tasty... I mean tastefully done.

The genius of Stan Wiston will be missed. Thank you sir, for amazing flights of fancy.