Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Strike a pose....

The office was a crazy hell hole this morning since the computers decided that they were going down. The only good thing was a well deserved raise coming our way. Yipeeeee!!! Another thing I found out about (I'm still deciding if it's good or bad) is that Doc has opted to expand and his little venture includes posting an ad in the paper. He decided to put my dusty B.A. in Literature to use and asked me to come up with a concept. He said he wanted an attractive ad to which Lysa answered (after making sure the raise could not be taken away) " First note in your draft concept, L., no pictures of Doc."

So I'll be trying to figure out how to make pain fun for all, boys and girls... and of course he wants it for the day before yesterday.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Weekend News


Another weekend flew by... Got out of the office early on Friday thanks to Doc's ever growing kindness. Went shopping. Repented of all things shopped in excess. Filed taxes (at least gotta refund... I'm happy even when I break out even.)

Saturday was an out door day, so after talking to Ms. Light Shadow and confirming that Mr. D (most formidable foe and lovable meany is risen from the web grave and walking about) we decided to pack up and go somewhere outside of cell signal range.

Ended up in Hernando County, doing a bit of hiking in the woods, as if we've never been to places in the middle of nowhere. Found a nice enough lake, but Lysania was completely terrified after seen a grasshopper the size of a "small helicopter" (too much for my nature loving sister).

Stumbled upon DEEP SOUTH BBQ, which happily stated in their menu "CRACKER OWNED AND OPERATED" (these folks make the best darn fried green tomatoes- EVER!!!!) We ate ribs and chicken combo in the shadow of a badass Gator Totem ( which reminded me to buy a digital camera, which I will , this week)

Once back home, Eduardo decided to rent some movies, I believe he was kind of bipolar in his choices, not every day one walks in with JACKASS 2 and THE ILLUSIONIST in the same bag.

Nothing to say about Jackass, except thanks for renting the Illusionist. ( I went crazy over The Prestige, so I never gave much attention to this one in theaters. This movie, although similar holds no true comparison. I fell in love with Norton, once again.)

"From the moment we enter this live we are in the flow of it. We measure it and We mock it, but we cannot defy it. We cannot even speed it up or slow it down. Or can we? Have we not each experienced the sensation that a beautiful moment seemed to pass to quickly, and wished that we could make it linger? Or felt time slow on a dull day, and wished that we could speed things up a bit? " -Eisenheim "The Illusionist"

Friday, January 26, 2007

VOLVER... no spoilers

Must say although this week has been rough, the two little patches of social life I've had have been wonderful. The opportunity of seeing two Oscar nominated movies (worthy of a nomination) almost back to back is rare on this forsaken corner of Florida. I must thank Doc too, for playing the wonderful boss part and getting us tickets for VOLVER at the Tampa Theater. This is one of those classy places circa 1926 with an elaborate stage and a pipe organist that entertains with Hollywood classics right before the feature. Please feel free to browse, although I think the site doesn't do justice to the place: http://www.tampatheater.org/

Now to the movie and this whole Penelope Cruz buzz...

I must confess I had lost my faith in Penelope Cruz as an actress. I sort of remembered her being good, but there has been too many movies done in awful English... to many hang outs with Hayek, too many tabloids and that dreadful thing called Bandidas at sale in Walmart for $9.99. I'll get to her later... one thing I must confess is that I looked forward to this movie because I haven't lost my faith in Spanish cinema or in Pedro Almodovar.
Almodovar's latest is a nice layer cake and he knows how to deliver, a bit of nostalgia, a bit of comedic relief, an emotional punch, a dash of social satire, lots of good things about being human, like love and life and blood that is thicker than water and a twist on the supernatural that is somehow familiar to all with a bit of Spain in their blood... most important he does what he does best. I am sorry ladies, but there is no female director alive that could dissect the female psyche as easily and as certain as Almodovar. He loves his women, an knows how to work them.

No spoilers, but minor details ahead:
  • The setting: The film divides it self between Madrid and La Mancha. The first being a thriving city, the second being a small town forgotten but by those who ever read a very long book about a crazy guy with impossible dreams to attain. The windmills are now white rows extending as far as the eye can see; the wind is the same. The Eastern wind flows through the town in a constant stream. There is a little legend that will justify a lot of things... a wind like that could drive men mad and women, well women are made of something else altogether. The women of La Mancha are a tight group, a special breed. They are loving, but nature had turned them hard, they seem to be fearless, resolved and given to keep secrets. Most important, they never leave anything unresolved.

This is the first of many layers in this movie, an it proves the clever title serves it right. The first "Volver" is about visiting places you thought you wanted to leave in the first place. In this case Raimunda (Cruz) returns to her hometown and faces her past. This "return" has a broad appeal, anyone that has ever lived in a small town has this feeling. Returning to the place that saw you as a child is always a little thrilling, a little sad. For a brief moment we think about how wonderful it was until we reach the conclusion that we will never return, which is shortly followed by jumping in on the next plane train or automobile out of there.

  • There is something other about the women of La Mancha... they are not so fortunate in love, but they manage. In a place where financial/physical independence is unheard of and loneliness is across to bear even when you are surrounded by people, a woman will hold to her man, sometimes will be blinded by love. Love, sorry, to say this to the romantics, should never be blind, which leads to the second "return".

This is a more serious, even more engaging aspect than the first layer. This is the one that tells us to be careful with our choices, not only with our lives, but with the lives of those entrusted to us, after all a person (as well as a place) cannot move forward until the things they leave behind are resolved. It is a tale of mothers and daughters and how in a given moment, every daughter must face the role their mother had in shaping her, how much is there of someone else in you. It's about a mother's love and careless abandonment and how much are you willing to go for someone you love, how much are you willing to give up or go back to a place that makes you feel uncomfortable for a loved one.

  • One other thing about the women of La Mancha is that they don't say much. When they open their mouths, though, it carries meaning, it touches, sometimes tears the soul.

I will not say much about the third return of this movie because it will give away the plot, no matter how I work to conceal it, but this is the "return" that made me believe in Penelope Cruz as an actress again... she is Raimunda and there is something that Almodovar was able to work off Cruz that no Hollywood director has even come close to... she is empowered. Penelope has never stricken me as beautiful (I know there are thousands who will disagree) but Raimunda is not about beauty, she is about sensuality. Mind you, not the cheap one obtained with heavy makeup and strategically placed (or removed) pieces of cloth. It's a natural, raw energy that flows out of her, that makes the wrong kind of guy want her and the right kind of guy respect her, almost fear her.

She is determined as no character ever conceived for her has been. Her determination comes out of the realization that she is alone, and she has to make it, not only for her personal satisfaction, but because her daughter deserves something better. Oh, yes she is (Gasp!) a mother of a (double Gasp!) 14 year old child- who would have thought. One of the many "returns" of this movie, the one that she makes her own is marked by a song, that shares it name with the film. When she sings, you know there is something coming, something unexpected, the song becomes the character and the character binds the story together, we follow her voice into a resolution. As far as I go, it made me shed a tear before I even knew what I shed it for. That is the sure sign of a worthy performance.

Does she deserve a nomination...hell yes! I still have to catch up with the other ladies, but so far this is Almodovar's most heartfelt and Penelope's finest.

Today's quote... will be a stanza from Raimunda's song, which I feel should have never been subtitled, because a lot of it was lost in translation. This song was made famous by Gardel and as my grandmother (big Carlito's fan) used to say may you never sing this song with a reason

"Volver,con la frente marchita

las nieves del tiempo

platearon mi sien.

Sentir que es un soplo la vida

que veinte aƱos no es nada

que febril la mirada

errante en las sombraste busca y te nombra.

Vivircon el alma aferrada

a un dulce recuerdo

que lloro otra vez"

Volver Lyrics by Carlos Gardel

Monday, January 22, 2007

Pan's Labyrynth... no spoilers


I will not touch Del Toro's directing abilities, several nominations are speaking on his behalf as I type... the bottom line is I'm a sucker for stories and the more my suspense of disbelief takes me away from analyzing the technical aspects of a film, the better.

I will make a statement that will sound completely ridiculous, but I hope by the time I'm done, some might at least understand why.

Hands down, this is the FANTASY MOVIE TO BEAT. This thing raised the bar so high, that even all mighty Gaiman will have to think twice before he places himself behind the camera. On the lighter side, someone should strap M. Night Shaymalan to a chair, make him watch this movie and then force him to write, ten thousand times, this is the way adult fairy tales are meant to be told (that, after burning all existing copies of Lady in the Water)

I promised no spoilers. I'll stick to it.

Every effective fairytale is at heart, half an adventure, half a horror story, with a moral lesson to bring it all together. Fairy tales area meant to be, not only entertaining, but cautionary in nature. They are life lessons for beings with fertile imagination who have not yet met life at it's best, or at it's worst. When I was 5, Little Red Riding Hood meant, what it meant... a girl in the woods who strays out of the path and meets a wolf. At 10, I fully realized that it meant never talk to strangers. Reading it to my niece, with 20 something years old, I couldn't help but over analize the implicit Freudian strokes about it- the tale had lost it's power; as an adult I knew the meaning and perhaps beyond... life had taken the place of the story. Kendra on the other hand, at 5 years old, relished on the peril and the thrill of a little girl wondering along in the woods, and that is the way it is. The effectiveness of a fairy tale is measured by how fast we can absorb the real in proportion to how easy we forget the fantastical as time goes by.

As adults we are not as given to trust, not as willing to believe, so when such a bold statement as fairy tale for grown ups is made, one usually gets there with the bullshit meter activated. This movie will take you, right on, disarm you and either seduce you or force you to be a child again. The violence is in your face to the point of evoking evil, all humanity is lost in the realm of the real and what is left for the audience to survive an otherwise visceral experience, is to run, along with a little girl into the depths of a Labyrinth inhabited by magical creatures.

Del Toro knows his archetypes and he works them brilliantly. (No spoilers, but minor details here)



  • There is an element of juxtaposition between Ofelia-the little girl, and Mercedes- the house keeper. Ofelia is the child who still believes in the fantastical, Mercedes is the adult Ofelia is meant to grow into, one who remembers childhood stories, but no longer has the need to believe in them. They play nicely, bringing the best of each character.

  • Monsters live in and out of the fantastic, and they remain the same, both the Paleman and the Captain are well known in their Realms, yet ironically, the fear of them is generated by how little we know about who they are. They are not who they are, but what they do. Monsters in all good fairy tales are almost anonymous, their deeds do the talking. (OT- SEE WHY I'M WORRIED ABOUT HANNIBAL RISING)

  • There is of course the guide. Boys and girls, there is a faun in this movie, of course. He is not good old Mr. Tumnus. This is an old, old god of regeneration who finds himself, for the first time in thousands of years, slowly withering away. Rule number one of any human enterprise, don't ever bargain with a dying god... so there is always a sense of peril, a little uncomfortable feeling about it, that will linger until the very end.

  • The heroes are there, and they are noble and true. The fools are there, and they serve their purpose.

  • The quest is a noble one, which means there will be lots of effort and sacrifice to get to the bottom of it.

Besides the archetypes, there are clever nods through the movie... the guy uses every fairytale device ever created and makes it his own, there is a little bit of Carol, a bit of Gaiman, a dash of Becquer (Spanish and Gothic yummy, yummy) there is even a generous tip of the hat to little Dorothy and her red slippers... if you know where to look.


I could keep talking about this movie, but this review is getting beyond long now. All I have to say is watch it, it's worth it.


Consider this the quote of the day.... I started to write this review about 2 days ago, between study quotes and stuff. Today the Oscar noms came in and I'm happy to see they took risks with some movies I thought would never make the list. So here is Harry Knowles:

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Hannibal Rising

I'm kind of late on this one, the trailer has been around for a while, but still I have the right to say I Dunno...my fight is not against the actor playing young Lecter, but I have the feeling that the character will not survive it's deconstruction. And besides, there is another clip, I believe in Yahoo where they show a series of explosions (set off by Hannibal, I presume) and somehow that doesn't quite fit in with the whole Chianti and Fava beans motiff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9oBj_Ict4M

Sunday, January 14, 2007

49 year old virgins and other misfired love connections


General Disclaimer:
The concept behind both Napoleon Dynamite and the 40 Year Old Virgin is inherently funny... we all, at least once root for the underdog, the lovable looser, the innocent, basically impossible, sweet guy we would all like to meet. It's funny, because as every good Hollywood spin is a fantasy that touches reality here and there, but the possibilities of these things happening to someone close to us, someone we happen to know, perhaps, are few. The chance of one of us being a supporting character on one of these guys lives is close to none, because they are not real. Then how the hell did I end up in this?
The following is a real story about the bastard child of Napoleon and Virgin and the unfortunate people who cross his path, including me.
About 4 months ago, one of our patients, whom we love dearly, showed me a picture of his son. I saw a tall, handsome guy in his early thirties, reasonably built, with a suspicious thick mustache that screamed HAS TO GO!!!, but somehow looked as if it needed to stay. I smiled politely and said "your son is quite handsome." Those words should go in the list of famous last, they might even dethrone "Everything will be alright" by the time I'm through with my little story.
Two months ago, our patient- who is a friend of Doc's mom, so he just pops up whenever he feels like it- showed up again. He kept talking about his son's wonderful attributes. As he kept talking, I noticed something that is a pet peeve of mine... I hate when people minimize things. He kept talking about his 30 something son as the kid. When Doc walked in after his last appointment, our patient-friend was still there praising the kid and telling me that I could not find a better guy if I looked for a hundred years. He told me the kid was an accomplished dancer ( it is fairly stereotypical to think that all Puertorricans like the dance floor, me, I've got no rhythm).
When he left Doc burst out in roaring laughter, which really set off all my alarms... you see Doc had been a bit depressed and as of late he was just barking orders left and right. He is usually serious and composed to the point of being perceived as dry, so when he let out a "Oh shit, you are in for a ride!!!" I felt a small drop of panicky sweat make its way down my neck.
Doc told me that the photo I saw was taken in the eighties and in fact the "kid" was pushing 50, had never lived on his own and has been taking his mother for a Sunday Stroll in the park for the last 30 years. That's funny, I said. Doc went back to his usual self and told me in a very dramatic tone "who says I'm kidding?"
About one month ago, I tried to run, but I couldn't hide when our patient-friend walks in, holding hands with this other guy... Imagine if you may, a 5'7" (I'm 5'9") Napoleon Dynamite pushing 50 ,with short cropped hair, impossibly thin upper lips and mouth constantly opened. "This is my son" he said and basically pushed this guy towards me. I could see, with the corner of my eye, how Lysa and Doc took front row seats while pretending to be revising paperwork.
Years of Customer Service and Empathy Training have left me THE SMILE, an infallible weapon for such occasions as these. So, I flashed THE SMILE, extended my hand and shook it vigorously. I turned around for a brief second and gave THE LOOKS. One for Lysa, which is the standard get me out of this mess look by going to the back and calling me on line 2 from Doc's line. I gave Doc the look, which is the standard, you are my boss but don't piss me off look, this time it meant, let Lysa make her call or you will be interviewing a new Front Desk tomorrow.
Forty nightmarish seconds later the phone rings and I said "Excuse me, this is really important. It was nice to meet you, SIR!!!!"
Two weeks ago the whole family walks in, mother and all (she is also a patient) I noticed the lady kinda checking me out with an interest and detail that has not been there before. When I called them into the exam room, (the "Kid"stayed outside waiting, starring at she Van Gogh Print with squinting eyes ) she told me that I had her approval. (somehow someone married me off to the kid without asking me.)
This past Friday, our patient-friend comes by to invite me (brace yourselves, boys and girls) to have a play date with the kid "We would really like for you to come and play World of Warcraft (WTF) with our son, he is quite the gamer." I could have set sometime aside to imagine a family picture a la Norman Bates or Texas Chainsaw Massacre, these people are weird enough, but I was content with saying. "I'm not 14 anymore, Thank You" I dint even bother with a generic smile, in case it would be misunderstood.
Something tells me though, this is not the last I'll hear from the kid, or his weird, weird, parents.
Laugh if you want...
Andy Stitzer: "You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!" 40 Year Old Virgin

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Bye Lily


Yvonne DeCarlo died today :(
Grandmother to all nice Goth girls... will surely be missed by fans all over

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Rats jump the ship and weight loss adventures



I still believe this year will be better than last, but things kinda started taking a wrong turn in Alburquerque. I slipped and hit my knee, which of course set out a flare up like I haven't had in ages. I took my second sick day in 2 years at the job and suddenly remembered why unscheduled absences are not so very welcomed... when I came back all hell kinda broke loose while I was gone and




  • Every single person I had to run an agenda for has a priority for yesterday when I was not there and I was the only one who had the info they needed

  • Our file girl just ran and dissapeared. leaving Lysania and yours truly in a sea January Record Request Extravaganza

  • I came back to find papers in corners of my desk I didn't know existed


So far I am glad to say I made it out alive and well. I'm about to start one bit of agressive treatment that will guarantee send this thing into remission once and for all, so I'm happy. Operation 30 pounds in sixty days was more of 20 pounds in sixty days but if we count the holidays I did decent.



Next phase: operation don't kill the boss of a heart attack when I tell him I'm going to Italy and will need to arrange my vacation in a disorderly fashion.



Monday, January 1, 2007

Hang Over's Over

We had a nice little gathering yesterday at Lysania's between Santiago's and Zelayas, Zamoras, Marreros and quite a collection of Riveras plus miscellaneous the final tally came up to 20 or so.
Music was all over the place since Eduardo was playing with the surround sound system, at a given moment there was an unlikely quartet of Marc Anthony, Nora Jones,Gloria Gaynor and of course, the late great James Brown (yep that was after liquor ran freely from shots to flutes in alphabetical order)

After literally counting our blessing 20 minutes to midnight (we had a quiet moment in which we all went over our year, sharing the good stuff and relying on one and other to make the best of what may come our way) we all watched the ball drop at Times Square and swore to go to New York next year (Izzy and Michelle are game to pick me up after I get back from Italy and I will hold them to it)

On and all it was fun. We closed the night singing Happy B-Day to Eduardo , at our convenience (his B-Day is Jan 2) and placing bet wether or not Lysanelle (Lysandra's tadpole) will share a birthday with him or not.

Over and Out, since I have to work tomorrow and have no idea where my scrub is ....

A New Year- William Arthur Ward
"Another fresh new year is here …

Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!"